The ‘Fifty Shades Freed’ Trailer is Here (and My Eyes Won’t Stop Rolling…)

The Fifty Shades Freed trailer came out of nowhere this morning (September 10).

Reasonably the worst representation of “feminism” in contemporary book adaptation history, Anastasia Steele, once considered Chrisitan Grey‘s favorite submissive pet, becomes Mrs. Grey in the long-awaited sneak peek for the closing chapter to E.L. James‘ saucy Fifty Shades series.

In the minute-long clip, Anastasia gets dressed in her wedding gown as Christian precedes to slide on some basic-ass looking ring to finalize their wedlock. A few other cut scenes are shown in the trailer: Anastasia discovers a concealed gun in Christian’s possession, then gets frisked with even more devices which prove, for the third time, more impressive than Christian’s own penis, there’s a gun standoff, and Anastasia gets kidnapped?

Continuing its promise to desecrate every lover’s favorite holiday, the ceremony will commence on Valentine’s Day 2018.

Check out the trailer for yourself, above.

Will you be watching Fifty Shades Freed come next Valentine’s Day?

Let us know what you thought of the teaser trailer in the comments, below.

Paris Close
the authorParis Close
Founding Editor. Give me Gillian Flynn or give me death.